I have Deviantart profile. I'm just going to abandon this one. If you want to be my friend this is my new profile: XxSMudGesArtxX

I'm sorry I haven't been online for soo long.

Long story.

Short version- I'm in foster care.

Well I never went to the doctor X3 ah well I knew I wasn't going to. Well the drama is starting to get worse. My brother is having financial problems as well and my dad still hasn't found a job.

I may be putting up some deviations soon...

Well, anywhoooo The winners of my contest from ages ago are and :iconuchias-rock: They both tied for first prize because no one else submitted an entry XD I honestly don't mind though, guys. Well winners, go on ahead and tell me what you want! ^-^ I'll draw you both whatever I don't mind. background, ink, color, chatacters, ocs...I don't care X3

uummm what eeeelse... hm, I may or may not be moving to missouri I actually have no idea...I miss my friend like f***ing crack..

hm, well I may start writing again (poetry, MAYBE stories) I want a laptop so badly just tow write on.. X3 I've been drawing more often and reading... I wish there were more hours in the day and that I had more energy, for some cosmic reason I'm always fatigued. I hope I learned the correct material for homeschooling...

Well, anywhooo that's what's been going on with m and stuff X3

Ok this journal is explaining why I was gone for so long.

Well I was going to ignore my deviantart until I finished drawing the pics I promised, well I still haven't although my excuses aren't really good ones.
Well, for the first month or two My family was undergoing major problems too many for me to name and I can hardly remember, and I also had to do a lot of chores, and not to mention school work, the next month or two my friends were undergoing a lot of drama that I was dragged into, and I also got a boyfriend <3 but the drama wasn't just any drama it was intense drama, like the kind in soap operas. well and then there was school work, weekends with friends, exercise, chores, it's a lot to keep up with. And the past two or three weeks this is what has been happening: My father was diagnosed with a spinal condition so he needs surgery and he has a 50/50 chance of survival, he got fired from his job because his employers thought that he was going to sue them for it, so in turn he has no insurance so he can't even get the surgery that he needs. Well, now he's supporting us with unemployment checks he's getting. He wants to go to a tractor trailer driving school for three to six weeks but he has to get financed. well this past week he didn't get the 235 dollars he was supposed to get a week for unemployment but instead he's getting 157 because they're basing it on the income he got last year which was 12,000 dollars for the whole year. Well my dad went to an employment agency today and they're going to finance the tractor trailer driving school for him which is 2,000 dollars. the school is going to be 3 to 6 weeks though, so we are going to have to live off of my dads unemployment checks, well we got our food stamps on the 7th so I'm pretty sure we'll be okay. And today my dad's supposed to be getting a check for 1200 dollars for the tax something, so that will pay the bills, and my mom's disability check will pay the rent, so I'm pretty sure we'll be ok. Well, my dad wants to finish the school thing because then he can get a job as a Tractor trailer driver so he'll be making the most money he's ever made in his life. but he'll be gone during the week, although that's not as bad as when my parents were divorced. Well he used to be a mechanic. My mom is disabled because in the summer of 2006 she and my father got into a car accident and my mom broke her back and my dad broke his neck. my mom had already broken her neck a few years ago, she can still walk and all of that, she just needs to take a lot of pills. Well then my mom went to the doctor ad day or two ago and found out that theres bone spurs in her neck and she has indentation in a cord in her spine that has fluid running through it, so she needs surgery as well. Well my dad also mowed the lawn the other day and ran over a water spicket and it broke a water pipe so my dad had to turn off the water for a day, no showers, can flush the toilets, the water faucets couldn't turn on, all that fun stuff. Well the next day he fixed it and turned the water back on, but it ended up blowing a fuse, so we had to change that too. And I haven't talked to any of my friends since last week so I'm pretty lonely as well. Also I've been having strange symptoms-which are probably nothing and I feel bad just for complaining- and my mom's going to take me to the doctor tomorrow I'll edit this and tell you guys how it went. But the symptoms are: when I stand sometimes I get really dizzy and I can't see for 5 to 10 seconds so I have to grab something to hold myself up, my heart also races and I can't breathe, It's not asthma because I've never been diagnosed with it and my lungs aren't inflammed or constricted I just can't breathe easily sometimes. A month or so ago I got up out of bed and I walked to the door I reached for the doorknob and I collapsed and fell backwards. It was as if I fainted, well my sister opened the door and started laughing really hard because she heard a sound and she thought I fell. well when I heard my sister come in my eyes opened, I tried to sit up but it was very difficult, I lost my breath and I was gasping for breath frantically I was breathing very quickly and it was so hard, I was so scared. my sister stopped laughing and said "woah, are you ok" I couldn't even answer, it took me around two minutes just to get my breath back my sister just left -_- and sometimes I need air so badly I can't breath out of my nose because I can't get enough oxygen fast enough so I just have short fast breathes, sometimes out of nowhere. Well, I also have trouble sleeping, I think I'm an insomniac. X3 I mean, just the other day I couldn't sleep and I was laying in bed trying to sleep until 7 am I finally just tried to say awake all day but I ended up falling asleep at 3 pm. it's weird though because when I do get to sleep I usually sleep from 12 to 15 hours if no one wakes me up, usually 12. so I'm going to get that checked out tomorrow.

Well, now you know why I've been gone so long, I'm sorry you guys. D8

Reanimation in...5...4...3...2...

1!

I'm BACK! Sorry I've been gone, if you want to know why I've been gone ask and I'll post a Journal on it, I don't mind.

Ok, I'm going to be awake all morning and day answering my messages and commenting all of the deviations I have over 500 messages and over 500 deviations, it's going to be a looong day...

I love you guys, thank you for not deleting me or hating me for me not being on for so long! ^-^

OOOOOOOkkkaaay. I haven't been drawing as much as I should, but there is so much going on! School, Social life, chores, exercise, family, OHMAHGAWD!

Well, I'm going to finish drawing and send GMW's letter before I put anything up. I AM SO SORRY it's taking so long.

I've only drawn about 4 or 5 drawings since my last journal...

.........................I'M SORRY!!!.....................

This homeschooling thing is SO HARD! I have no teachers and no motivation to do my work so I skip some days (and feel horrible about it), and on top of that I don't have all the books I need.
I'm worried...
I have 8 people and 2 dogs living in this tiny one story 3 bed 2 bath house so it's ALWAYS dirty! My brother and parents are always asking me to do chores when I'm not doing my work.
I hate chores
I usually do tae-bo for an hour or pilates with my sister, but some days we don't if it's been hectic....Most days are hectic.
work it!
My family are usually watching T.V. playing video games or asking me to do things, when they're not working. and I want to spend time with my family so I usually do it with them. I mean... if I don't It'll just be another memory I'm left out of.
I dun wanna be left out D:
My social life derives from my 3 guy friends that come over EVERY WEEKEND. they used to come over on Wednesdays too, but, one of them got a job, thank moses. I mean, it's not that I don't want them over it's just that we usually do awesome fun stuff, like play video games and watch movies or go out.(and usually they are the only escape I have from my boring house life) And I can't tell them they can't come over on a certain weekend because two of them are both of my sisters boyfriends and the other is my good friend. So my sisters want to spend EVERY WAKING MOMENT with them, so the weekends are a minimum. once my sister said
"Sheree, you don't HAVE to hang out with them you can do something else." When I told her that I was worried that we weren't doing enough school work and maybe they shouldn't come over as often. (this was when they were over wednesday, friday, saturday, and sunday.) and usually we spent the whole day with them. But, I didn't say anything back and I still hung out with them every time they came over.

So as you can see, I have my work cut out for me. attempting to do all of this AND draw for you guys made me overload with stress so I just...stopped. I've been sleeping in, doing nothing all day. until recently I was drawing some...but thats about it...

THAT'S IT!

I PLEDGE TO SET MY ALARM CLOCK, WAKE UP EARLY, AND DO AS MUCH AS I CAN TO BETTER MY LIFE EVERY DAY. SO HELP ME IF I DO BREAK THIS PLEDGE, MAY I....MAKE IT AGAIN! AND TEAR MYSELF APART WITH SELF-DESTRUCTIVE THOUGHTS!

*sigh* I hope I can do this.

Well with all that's on my plate I haven't had time for deviantart, myspace, or quizilla (my usual sites) so I'm just going to update and when I'm back on my feet, will I reign again as KIARI THE ANIME QUEEN!!! muah-ha-ha
(btw when I made Kiari my name [which was forever ago] my sister said "Kiari? Like off of kingdom hearts" then, was when I noticed they had the same spelling. I cursed myself mentally. but IT IS NOT KAIRI OFF OF KH! it's key-ah-ri my gawd peeps.)
I also have no time to read manga or watch anime so I'm far behind. actually I can't even afford manga. and when I tried to go to a site to watch anime online it wouldn't load because of my ghey computer.

well...today my sister and I got into a PHYSICAL fight and I ended up scratching her face, chest and arms up...enough to draw blood... so I'm not really looking forward to the guys coming over because my whole family has already chewed me out. well they kinda have a reason to because I threw the first punch because I couldn't control my seething anger. Well, I didn't 'throw a punch' necessarily, I lunged at her back causing us to both go falling to the floor with me on her back. I didn't even get one scratch so I'm in trouble. My other sister said that my sister that I fought was just holding back on me. Because she was smart enough to, unlike me. Now every time my brother sees my sisters scabbed face and body he's going to throw more chores on me. I don't understand how she could've gotten scratched up that bad though, I didn't even mean to! I wasn't even trying to SCRATCH her. I was trying to punch her. But I don't punch very well, so technically It would have been better if I punched her more. I mean at least she wouldn't have bled. It didn't even last a minute! It was kind of like I blacked out because I was blinded by anger and I was running on rage. I didn't even realize how bad I had hurt her until my other sister lectured me, whom had to kick me in the side just to calm me down when I was on the floor from her pulling me off of my sister that I was fighting. She said that after she pried me off of my sister and tossed me away from them I started crawling back to attack my sister that I was fighting so thats why I was kicked. to calm me down. well after she kicked me I indeed calmed down. I wrapped my arms around my knees and hugged them before running into the bathroom to take a hot bath. the bathroom is the only place that I can go to be alone I can't leave the house. we are literally surrounded by neighbors. some's homes only 20 feet away. so if they saw my crying or something they'd tell my parents and that would be an unwanted annoyance. "honey, why are you crying?"
"oh nothing mom I just HATE MY LIFE!"
I know my mom's just worried but I get annoyed and angry mostly at myself but I direct it at other people unconsciously. I get mad at myself because In my world, crying is considered weak and illegal. and those who break the law are ashamed and humiliated.
opps not of that was any of your business whoops. Sorry, it slipped out of my keyboard.

WELL ANYWHO! enough of that.

I gathered up the courage to take the 100 themes challenge :3

1. Introduction
2. Love
3. Light
4. Dark
5. Seeking Solace
6. Break Away
7. Heaven
8. Innocence
9. Drive
10. Breathe Again
11. Memory
12. Insanity
13. Misfortune
14. Smile
15. Silence
16. Questioning
17. Blood
18. Rainbow
19. Gray
20. Fortitude
21. Vacation
22. Mother Nature
23. Cat
24. No Time
25. Trouble Lurking
26. Tears
27. Foreign
28. Sorrow
29. Happiness
30. Under the Rain
31. Flowers
32. Night
33. Expectations
34. Stars
35. Hold My Hand
36. Precious Treasure
37. Eyes
38. Abandoned
39. Dreams
40. Rated
41. Teamwork Leader
42. Standing Still
43. Dying
44. Two Roads
45. Illusion
46. Family
47. Creation
48. Childhood
49. Stripes
50. Breaking the Rules
51. Sport
52. Deep in Thought
53. Keeping a Secret
54. Tower
55. Waiting
56. Danger Ahead
57. Sacrifice
58. Kick in the Head
59. No Way Out
60. Rejection
61. Fairy Tale
62. Magic
63. Do Not Disturb
64. Multitasking
65. Horror
66. Traps
67. Playing the Melody
68. Hero
69. Annoyance
70. 67%
71. Obsession Tea and Amanda
72. Mischief Managed
73. I Can't
74. Are You Challenging Me?
75. Mirror
76. Broken Pieces
77. Test
78. Drink
79. Starvation
80. Words
81. Pen and Paper
82. Can You Hear Me?
83. Heal
84. Out Cold
85. Spiral
86. Seeing Red
87. Food
88. Pain
89. Through the Fire
90. Triangle
91. Drowning
92. All That I Have
93. Give Up
94. Last Hope
95. Advertisement
96. In the Storm
97. Safety First
98. Puzzle
99. Solitude
100. Relaxation

Well I have exactly 328 deviations and 282 messages. I'll tend to them later.

If you read this whole thing: Thank you I appreciate your hard work.